POOP!
Do I have your attention? We are going to talk about a subject that a lot of people turn their nose up to as if it stinks or something?! But, it's soo important; poop and colon health. I am going to go into detail about this so reader beware.

Today I had my first Colon Hydrotherapy Treatment. I have heard for a long time about how the average person can have up to 10-20LBS of poop rotting inside of them. Yes, read that again, 10-20 POUNDS of POOP! I've wanted to do something like this for a while now for various ailments I have been dealing with and I have read and heard about the benefits but never knew where to go. Well, the other night I was watching a sweet friend and mentor of mine on Periscope (if you don't know what Periscope is it is a live stream app, It is so dope!) and she did a treatment live on camera! So brave! So to say I was inspired is an understatement. I called Lori at the  Inside Tract in Ogden and set up an appointment for the soonest she had and I was not disappointed.

Find out what Colon Hydrotherapy is HERE

I really wasn't nervous until this morning and mostly because of the unknown. The anticipation of how the process would go intimidated me. I arrived at the location and seriously thought about turning around and going home. Lori greeted me at the front of her home and instructed me to go around to the basement. Great, I thought. I am about to get a tube shoved up my ass in someones basement! Isn't she going to wine and dine me first at least? How rude! Haha. As I walked into her office it was very clean and professional and it didn't even smell like shit! :) I filled out some paperwork and answered some revealing questions about my pooping ritual all while Lori sat next to me and was talking as if this wasn't a big deal, I guess 23 years in the poop biz does this to you. It took all of my concentration to act as nonchalant as she did. She then escorted me to a bathroom where I was instructed to bear all under a sexy hospital gown. I undressed, emptied my bladder in fear that pooping on her would be bad enough let's not add pee to that list too! I snap-chatted a few friends who knew what I was up to and then looked in the mirror wondering what in the hell did I get myself into but thought, here goes nothing!

I entered the treatment room and saw a big machine with gages and dials on it and there was Lori, smiling, with a tube and lube in hand. Oh, my God! I reluctantly sat on the table and well, I think you can imagine what happened next. I do have to say for those who are wondering what it feels like, it doesn't hurt, but I am going to be real with you, it feels like you have to poop and it was in no way sexually arousing. I was then put in a comfortable position on my back and before I even realized it the treatment had started. Lori really made me feel comfortable and at ease. When the water is entering your digestive tract it kind of just feels like you're bloated or full. She massages your stomach to help things "move" along, then just when you think you are going to lose it and your dignity on the table she releases the pressure and out comes the waste.  And, you know, there is a lighted viewing chamber for your viewing pleasure and I really appreciated that, boy is it fascinating to see. I was a little caught off guard though when in the middle of our conversation about marriage, kids, career choices and colon health, she said, "Ah! You're a mushroom girl!" "What did you just say?!" I exclaimed in laughter (remember, laughing is probably not the best idea right now!) Yes, she can tell what you've eaten if you, like me, don't chew your mushrooms up all of the way before swallowing. All this time I thought our stomach acid breaks down the food but I learned today that the saying, "chew your food 20x before swallowing" holds true. Your stomach acid breaks down the food to a molecular level but can only do it with food that has been previously broken down into a paste, so our bodies are not even absorbing the nutrients from the foods that have not been chewed enough. Life lessons people-Chew your food!

After 45 minutes of this it was finally over. I ran to the bathroom gathered my things and my pride and met her in the waiting area, paid for the service and you bet, I rescheduled. I did not go through that one time to not finish it out to get through my entire digestive tract, 3-6 treatments is recommended.

Now, 8 hours later I feel a little crampy, which is normal but overall I feel great! I almost feel cleaner and lighter, maybe that's in my head but I do. I felt energized all day and I did not have to be confined to a bathroom for the rest of eternity or even at all today. I  kept my food choices light today and chose things that are easy on the gut like smoothies. I will do my best to journal my progress and if it helps some of the ailments I have been battling.

Happy Pooping!